Bonnie the Sports Reporter (by A)

Bonnie decided to be a sports reporter.
When she came to the press box to do a trial run, Bonnie was overly confident.
"Ha ha ha! I'll beat all of these stupid humans!" she shouted. She was referring to all of the other men who were trying out for the job.
Bonnie was up first. The man who was in charge instructed her: "You have to speak clearly and fast. So here's and example. The man put the microphone up to his mouth. "Johnson goes wide to the right, oh and now he makes a pass to Thomas. Do you think you get it now?"

"Uh, yeah!" said Bonnie.
"Okay, start when you are ready," the man said, smiling.
They turned the microphone back on. Bonnie began. "Here's Stupid. He's up to bat!" Bonnie was clueless about football. She knew all about baseball and a little about soccer. But, she was so overly confident that she didn't care. The man whispered in Bonnie's ear, "He's got the ball. He's not up to bat!" and smacked his forehead.

"Oh, he's got the ball, wide to the right, wide to the right, folks! He passes it to...
The man prays silently to himself. 'Please not Stupid, Please not Stupid..."
"Ugly!" Bonnie bellowed. The man reaches for the microphone telling Bonnie what she should be doing. "And Johnson's got the ball, wide pass to the left...Goal!" Bonnie shouted, leaning over toward the microphone to continue her sports report.
"That's right. A touchdown!" the man yelled, trying to drown out Bonnie's voice. The other men waiting for their interview outside the press box snickered. The sports reporter gave Bonnie one more chance. "Don't mess this up. I'll only give you one other chance and if you blow it..."
"On Numbskull, On Stupid, On Ugly and Dumb!" Bonnie yelled, imitating the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer song. The man put a hand over her still-babbling mouth. "Shhhh!" He had another man take over. "You're fired," he told Bonnie, then he forced her out of the press box, closed the door and locked it. There were gasps of horror and shouts of laughter coming from the crowd. She flew above the game, watching and listening. She had her own commentary going inside her head. "Oop! Scatterbrain from the other side has the ball now." She did this until the game was finally over.

And when it was, all the football players had a bone to pick with Bonnie. They came up in a pack. The biggest men she had seen in her life! They all gathered around. They took turns punching Bonnie.
"This is for all the names you called us," one said.
"Yeah!" said another.
"And we didn't like it!" added a third.
But, they let her off easy with two black eyes.

You can bet she never did that again.