Chevy Dances - Fiction by A (with illustration by J)

Chevy Dances

by A

As Bonnie was pecking Chevy at the food dish (one of her favorite activities) one day, she decided she was better than Chevy in all regards - except eating, of course.  (No one could out-eat Chevy!)

Anyway, it occurred to Bonnie that Chevy is the ugliest, most clumsy bird there is. (As far as she's concerned, Chevy is the clumsiest thing ever created!)  

She said, "Chevy, I bet you can't do the moon-walk!"

"Uh, duh, sure I can!" replied the rather annoyed bird.

"Haha!" Bonnie squealed.  "Chevy, I can't breathe!  Please don't tell such a funny joke ever again!"

But before she even finished saying these things, Chevy was gone! He was nowhere to be seen! Then she realized that Chevy was actually walking on the moon!

This made her very angry, but she was sure that she could outsmart Chevy!  

"Ugh! But I know you can't do ballroom dancing!" Bonnie shouted triumphantly, once Chevy had returned to Earth.

Again, Chevy disappeared!  Bonnie felt pretty good about this one!  She flew over to where Chevy was: on top of Chuck-E-Cheese's ball pit!  Or, what used to be the ball pit: the balls were all deflated, and I don't even want to say what happened to the kids!

Bonnie was annoyed, but the next comment would stop all further out-smartings (or so she thought).

"Don't dance like that! You are embarrassing me!" she said.

"Okay," Chevy replied (stupidly, as Bonnie would like to add).

'So,' Bonnie thought, 'Chevy can't possibly do the flamenco!  I bet he doesn't even know what it is!' (though she didn't either).

Chevy, knowing Bonnie was going to try to out-wit him once again, looked over at the thinking Bonnie.  Bonnie brought up enough confidence to say "Okay.  I know you're trying to be Mr. Funny-Man and all.  And I told you to stop, so I know I can outsmart you now...You can't do the flamenco!"

"I can't?" he said.  "Well, I'll be!" and he put his one leg on the other, at the knee and switched legs, first on one leg and then on the other.  Bonnie flew into a rage (literally - she's a bird)!  She went back to the cage.  She paced and danced on the perch for a while, but she thought of just giving up.  But she really, really wanted to be "better" than Chevy, so she figured and hoped she actually could be.

Without thinking what 'macarena' sounds like, she gave the challenge to Chevy.  He rushed to the store, counted out seeds, put them on the counter and flew back to Bonnie.  He made sure she was looking, and then tromped all around the cage, shaking boxes of macaroni in each hand.  He went around, shaking his booty and his belly very violently.

"Hula!" Bonnie ordered, getting angrier by the second!

"Whatever you say, Honey BooBoo Butt!" Chevy said.

Even Bonnie's cheek feathers turned bright red.  Chevy came back with all the world's hula-hoops around his wing feather and said "Yee-haw!" and dispersed them all over the world, and into space!

Bonnie was furious, first that Chevy called her "Honey BooBoo Butt",  and now that Chevy was dancing "funny" again.

"Last one," Bonnie said, grinning.  "Prepare to lose, Chevy.  I want you to do the twist."  

She thought, 'Chevy is so uncoordinated, he'll never be able to do it!'

But he did.  He twisted with Bonnie, and HE TWISTED HER!

She was so dizzy, she fell over and did a face-plant.  There were eggs floating in circles around her head instead of birds.

Never try to out-wit Chevy, he'll find a way to win.